#I have no idea what I'm doing when it goes to that lol
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Hii 🥰 I love your art so so very much and it's inspired me to start drawing again after about a year and a half of nothing. I was wondering if you could do a quick explanation of how you draw creature heads? Even with skull references and stuff I'm having troubles particularly with the eyes / eye placement and cheek areas
hi thank you, i'm happy you've gotten drawing again. i try not to make fully drawn 'here's how i do x' tutorials anymore since realising that i would just be training people to replicate my mistakes and photos really are the best reference
however not many people know HOW to use photorefs so i will show you this thing i made for someone else who asked a similar question in my dms once. step 1 is to discard any hangups you might have about tracing. professionals trace. it's fine.
for an example of what i mean when i say drawn tutorials just teach you how to replicate mistakes: i got the knee visibly wrong in my drawing here lol. but for a guide you get the idea. you basically want to put on x-ray goggles when you're looking at photos. you want to be able to see through the animal and understand 1. the axial skeleton [skull, ribs, spine] first and 2. the appendicular skeleton [pelvis, limbs] secondarily. you want to understand it in a 3D space - see how in my traced sketch, I have blocked out the ribcage as a solid form using contour lines which describe a curve. i didn't draw every individual rib, there's no need. don't get bogged down in the weeds, this drawing should take like 5 minutes max
the reason we are tracing and not just closely referencing is because this saves us from also having to worry about getting angles & proportions right. we will worry about those later. for now we are gaining understanding of how a body is formed without the pressure of having to get it 'right'.
okay so you asked about heads in particular so we'll look at heads. in the thingy above you can see that i traced a kite shape onto the front of the cranium before filling in the snout.
it's a canine and not super interesting but i think they show really well what goes on with the frontal bones. the cheek bones form the two lateral points of a kite shape.
if you start your sketch at the kite shape you can turn it in space
what you are looking for is the kite. the kite is not flat. the kite is the front of the cranium minus the nose/snout etc, it is laid out over a curved surface. you will find the eyes along the horizontal line and the cheekbones tucked under the bottom faces of the kite. the snout/nose/etc emerges from the crosshairs in the middle and the cheekbones follow the outer edge of the kite, but not the jaw. this is how i construct all my faces, human or animal doesn't matter it's all this underneath. using it i can visualise the hidden parts of the face such as the obscured cheekbone
try to find as many different types of animal or human heads as possible and trace the kite onto them. then you will see
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@queenlua
(this is sort of a tangent so feel free to ignore me ENTIRELY but: who exactly is the audience for litRPG stuff? my first time hearing of it was at a sf/f writer's workshop, and when it was described to me i was like "wouldn't these people simply read webfiction" but then i was informed of The Sales Numbers Around LitRPG People I Had Never Heard Of and was like What The Hell, but i was clearly the only Extremely Online person in the room so figured i wouldn't get any further context from present company lol)
For some reason I thought I had answered this, and maybe I did somewhere and can't find it, so sorry if this is a restatement of something you've already read, but ...
There are a few fundamental fantasies being fulfilled by the modern litRPG.
First, there's the power fantasy, the idea that you can have control and be agenty and make decisions. I don't think there's anything wrong with power fantasy per se, and I expect that the desire for power fantasy will grow when people feel more and more powerless. litRPG does not offer anything much different from e.g. superhero stories, at least as far as power fantasy goes.
Second, there's the progression. This is part of the power fantasy, the getting stronger over time angle, powering up, getting better. litRPG promises that, it's in the nature of the RPG elements, and fundamental to the appeal. This is something that e.g. superhero stories usually don't have. (There is a whole genre, progression fantasy, that focuses on this, and litRPGs are usually a subset of that depending on who you ask.)
Third, the litRPG offers legibility. It is clear what the powers are, what they do, what choices are to be made. Everything is clearly laid out and easy to conceptualize, at least most of the time. And because this is the case, it's good as a platform for the imagination, especially for analytical readers. It's something for people to daydream about, argue over, etc. Legibility is super important, IMO, or at least the appearance of legibility, the illusion that the author has a Concrete Plan with Hard Numbers. Armchair psychoanalysis is that a desire for this relates to a lack of legibility (and by proxy "fairness") in real life.
Fourth, the litRPG naturally speaks the language of videogames, and a lot of the readers are super into videogames, so there's some element of "thing that I like" in there which I don't think can actually add to any analysis, but also some of the things that people like about video games are power fantasy, progression, and legibility, so ...
There's also a lot of overlap between webfic and litRPG. I don't know that I'd say it's the most popular form of webfic right now, but ... probably it is? The overall market is young men for both. [Edit: I should probably clarify that I don't know what the hell goes on over at Wattpad. AO3 is also webfic, but that's fanfic, and female dominated last I checked. I'm talking more RoyalRoad, SB/SV, QQ, etc. I am not a market expert, terms and conditions may apply.]
Here are some other reasons I've heard from people when I've asked:
it's hard to screw up, so you're guaranteed a quality baseline
the writing is often simple popcorn that's easy to digest
the writing is often bad in a way that makes it less predictable
there's often no romance or introspection
the numbers are going up, and I like that consistent dopamine drip feed
the characters are simple
the main character is just like me
I think some of these are just wild to think about, and others are not really about the genre, just the kinds of people who write within it and the stories that make up the bulk of what people are reading.
LitRPG where the protagonist's game system is very clearly from a game with a 20-minute day-night cycle, and whose gamification of hunger, thirst, and sleep just wreaks havoc on his personal and professional life.
Just kidding, litRPG protagonists don't have personal or professional lives.
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HIIII.
so like I'm new and I'll probably be around for a while!
ANYWAYS. you don't have to do this if it's against your boundaries, but how do you think the chain would react to a period?
like hypothetically, one of them is Trans, or gets cursed into a female body, how do you think that would go for them?
(can I be 🥁anon?)
Oooh don't worry anon!
I personally headcanon some of the boys as afab, so you're good, I don't mind questions like these at all!
I've been asked about the chain + periods before, but I don't think I've gone into detail about it before so! More under the cut hehe
(these are my own interpretation btw! U can headcanon the boys as whatever u want, my vision isn't like canon for the au, I like to leave it vague so anyway can project what they want! But these are what i personally like)
I feel like it depends on the period? Like ok so I'm personally a big enjoyer of sky, twi and wars as butch/transmasc, but they all have very different periods
Sky for example, I love the idea that he's one of the lucky ones who have really short non painful periods, like maybe they hurt the first day a little bit and that's it
Wars on the other hand is full blown painful as fuck period cramps, he is MISERABLE!! nausea, headaches, included. They are short though, intense but short
Twilight is like right in the middle in the sense that they are painful, but they're not as bad as Wars', however they are long, like more than normal, so they're pretty uncomfortable especially on the road
Anyway, I feel like the others would react differently depending on who's it is
Like, no one really notices when Sky has his, like maybe they feel mild pain but they all shrug it as something else.
Wars is like, the most chaotic thing ever and I can see all of the amab links absolutely losing it like oh my god??? What IS THIS??? YOY GO THROUGH THIS EVERY MONTH???
I've mentioned it before, but I personally love the headcanon that wind & time went through the war of eras pre linked universe so they both know about Wars' chaotic periods, but they're both completely floored over how much they really hurt lmao LIKE WOW U WEREN'T LYING ABOUT THIS, ALL THIS TIME WE THOUGHT U WERE JUST DRAMATIC????
Sky is also in the surprised club despite having periods himself, cause like WDYM PERIODS HURT THIS BAD??? WTF???
Twilight's high pain tolerance + him being afab means he's not as affected during it, as like, helps calms everyone down and frets lol
When twilight's period comes around, everyone is miserable cause wdym we have to go through this AGAIN?
The periods eventually synchronize though cause that's what happens when u travel for a long time with other period havers, and shit goes down
Stay at camp or stay at the inn day(s) until they all feel better again
Anyway, thank you for the ask 🥁anon! And sorry for the extensive period talk lol
#funnily enough I'm on my period right now lol#miry's ask box#lu pain sharing au#i don't mind asks about this at all so don't hesitate to ask about it!
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The biggest thing keeping me rooting for Skailor in canon is the way she makes Kai crumple like a leaf
he literally burns himself with his own fire when talking to her oh my god
#how do you spell the ship name#he's such a confident flirt with any other girl but around her he just disintegrates#they are very cute and I love them both but there are like no big interactions between them#*since season 4#and Skylor has like no character development or quirky things#shush I've seen crystalized don't @ me I want more#really hope she forces her way into the main characters the way Pixal did#a blind puppy in hell would do a better job at drawing Kai's hair#I have no idea what I'm doing when it goes to that lol#I'm also bad at drawing fire could you tell#Kai's emotions making his fire hotter should totally be explored more#except how would you do that#oh man this fire feels hotter than the other fires#they should totally change the fire's color like I've seen in all that fanart#really proud of the smear frame I drew#ninjago#kai smith#skylor chen#kai x skylor#canon ship#proud of this one#digital sketch#my stuff#I kinda wanna rewatch Season 4 again#FOR THE SIXTH TIME#lol
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What your fave says about you: Sona/Undertale edition (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#So many sonas and characters lol#Ended up filling the other side of the zine with something self-indulgent :)#Actually came from the same kernal as a digital-specific idea but these are what I've ended up with in the moment!#Zine doodles end up...silly lol#I draw with pen logic! And mm... I won't say I'm Displeased with them but there are things I'd change for sure#Overall the vibe is there just not completely the execution lol#I'll get it better when I do the digital version >:3c It'll be like how I see it in my head and then I'll have both! Nice#For the moment tho doing an eight-highlight reel of the who's who was fun :)#Obviously starting with myself and my fave <3 This terrible little flower whom I love with my whole heart#I really do love him - I'd go and rewatch my fave scenes with him but the in-built guilt haha#The next was easy! My fave sona gets my second fave character! Papyrus only loses to Flowey by a hair's breadth anyway lol#Anyone in the thread remember that time I compared Charm to Papyrus lol#They both want people to like them so badly! They go about it very differently tho lol#Papyrus would be a good influence on her :) Just be nice to people! Ironically she'd probably agree more with Sans lol#Speaking of! Eli would be the type of person who goes digging around in the backend and Totally claims to like Gaster the most#Y'know because secret values and stuff! Super sneaky like! But actually their fave is Snas lol#You are Basic Eli just accept this lol#Ficus was an easy pick for Napstablook - they would absolutely lay on the floor and think about being garbage with them#That deadened gaze lol#Ulex looks so uninterested in Alphys lol they're just bad at talking - dissimilar from Alphys in that they've got the stoic thing going on#They're not awkward just not good at making friends lol#Hall of Mirrors would absolutely love Undyne lol - being friends with her and cooking together would make HoM So Happy haha#Another obvious one - Othersona already comes with spider imagery! Muffet was the clear choice haha#They are having a cup of spiders and they are enjoying it :/ Lol#And finally Holosona and original calculator-body Mettaton haha - she prefers this version over EX and NEO#She'd probably like NEO - she absolutely plays the Genocide run on purpose - except for how OHKO he is lol#A different sona likes NEO tho...#Anyhow ♪ Might talk more about their different play styles in the digital version :D When I get there anyway lol
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Atsushi's back in the game!!! ۶( ˆ o ˆ )
#And Kouyou!!!!#Also. I can say Steinbeck is kinda 👀👀👀#King of the specific category of “I forget I like him until he's on screen”#I'm seriously unlocking memories with this rewatch. Like I haven't thought about it in two years–#but I just know when I was watching the anime for the first time I was being like#“Of COURSE the villains need to spend several minutes each episode explaining in detail how their own superpowers work so that the–#protagonists can get a perfect idea of how to best counter them. Why are villains made so freaking stupid in this show” aljhvwslchvqliyqwb#But. Eh. I guess that's just bsd to you.#Alsoooooo random thought of the day: I don't really favour how Tanizaki's ability was adapted in the anime.#I very well understand they were going for this green Matrix-like illusion effect‚ but every time someone says “... Snow?”#I'm like please explain where do you live that has snow glowing green.#Aamsjgvfaskjhfv sorry this is me being very. Cranky and nitpicky and having terrible audience etiquette in refusing to–#engage in suspension of disbelief. It just bugs me akvakcvqkyb I just feel like... Green is such a non-snow color–#that quite of completely disrupts the Light Snow / Sasame Yuki aesthetic. I would have liked it much better light blue or simply white.#What else. The way the Guild just goes on at stereotypes still troubles me a lot. The “usamericans can't be touched by laws–#because they use money to corrupt anyone” “foreign criminal organization come in our country to corrupt our pure and untouched soil”#Idk. Maybe all of it is true. Can it still be deemed a stereotype when it's objectively something that's happened before–#and will probably keep happening?#I suppose I'm just not a fan of the constant hostility against any foreigner. Idk.#This situation besides is extremely ironical. If you meet me irl it probably won't take long to see me being very outspoken about–#how much I despise usa cultural colonization of all other countries. It's something that really bothers me‚ how rooted and pervasive–#their influence is. So in a lot of ways I can relate to the author's sentiment#I just feel that. If you start treating them as stereotypes and ignore the complexity of a country and the wide spectrum of causes–#that contribute to its attitude in international relations. You end up practicing precisely what you're trying to criticize.#Okay this is the last time I'm getting into the politics of the Guild arc lol#random rambles#This time I took watching the episode slow I feel a little late
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Head in my hands wondering if I'll have to cut the entire Chume Labs section out because it's more suited to being a different chapter, but also knowing the next chapter can't have it either so I might have to cut it from this fic entirely aaaAAAAAAAAAA
#i talk#fic talk#I was thinking I could stay up a while and try to finish this chapter so I could maybe post it tomorrow#but this is really eating me up#On the one hand... a solely Fuga chapter would be great#on the other hand... this chapter is supposed to show their growth from Fuga to the Chume Labs era#(even if it IS 99% about Fuga)#because that's what the chapter's theme is about#Agh#I'll keep chipping away at things regardless#Anyways for folks who like numbers#so far of everything I've already written / edited I have 5588 words#If I solely make this a Fuga chapter there are 1135 words left in my draft#meaning the final total of the chapter will be around 7000 words more or less since I tend to add a lot more stuff when I'm editing#I've got 1870 words (approximately) written for the Chume Labs section#which means if I do the entire Fuga + Chume Labs part this chapter will probably be just under 10000 words#@ __________ @#Maybe I should split this chapter up and make the Chume Labs part an interlude#Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm#Or maybe I'll throw it in Chapter 4 after all. Hell I dunno#We'll see how I feel once I finish editing all the Fuga stuff#I'm pretty happy with the Fuga stuff though but oh boy did it kill me#I think the reason I'm waffling about the Chume Labs bit is because technically it wasn't supposed to be included in this chapter#I had the idea two (?) ish weeks ago and went ''Wait that's a great idea to add''#which is how 99% of my writing goes and is one of the reasons why everything takes so long lol#But anyways. Yeah it's looking like no chapter update today (or I guess tomorrow depending on your timezone)#Sorry guys!#But it's almost done
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I'm still thinking about this lol, I love both of the ideas I already came up with, but I’m still thinking about it and I came up with another idea that might be even better.
Again, under the thingy for length and vague mentions of sex and alcohol, plus suicide this time too 💀 nothing graphic for any of them, but y'know lol
Still an idea for if it happened in highschool, but specifically for if I do actually get round to writing Tim’s little *thing* about Brian. I'm not sure if it'd technically be called a delusion, but I think it would? Anyway, Tim’s little thing about Brian where his brain latched onto him as a source of comfort and ended up with him going “Brian is a literal god made flesh and I worship him”. I could also have Tim lose his virginity to Brian during that time, I think that might be interesting, and could also be very sweet. I don't think I have any plans for Brian to ever really know about Tim’s whole *thing* about him (except I guess post canon? Tim might tell him then when they reconnect) but I think from Tim’s perspective having it happen while his thing about Brian is in full swing could be really interesting and really sweet. Especially if Brian himself is really sweet about it.
I think it'd still be that this is *both* of their first times, so it's awkward and a bit fumbly, but Brian would still be very gentle and loving with it. He’d probably be able to tell something's not quite been right with Tim recently, and it'd again happen while Tim’s drunk and spiralling, but he wouldn't really know exactly what was up. All he’d know is Tim’s not feeling great, and they're cuddling on Brian’s bed home alone because Tim’s very not okay. It honestly probably goes pretty similarly to how the other “it happened in highschool” idea, it'd just be that it happened at a different time, a little later on, after Tim’s thing about Brian had the time to properly get itself ingrained in his head. The feelings about it would be very different too, though, I think.
I don't think Tim would have been able to let it go after that. Like, in the first idea there's the “for whatever reason they don't just end up dating after this” bit, but in this one I just can't see there being a way I could make that work. Tim would absolutely want to date Brian properly after that, and if Brian for whatever reason didn't want to I think that would have properly broken Tim. As in suicide attempt, getting re-hospitalised levels of broke him because he'd feel like he’d done something wrong to earn Brian “hating” him enough to turn him down. And just generally I don't wanna do that to Tim lol, and it doesn't feel like something Brian would have done, especially at that later point in their friendship, but I’d need him to so they can only get together later on in uni lol.
Other than that though I love it so much as an idea, it feels like something that'd work very well with how I see young Tim and Brian in my head, especially young, very mentally ill with very few support systems Tim. He loves Brian, probably has an obsession with him, and he’s desperate to be as close to him as he can. Friendship was enough for a while, but he wants more than that. I don't think I'd have him actually on the feelings unless he and Brian were going to go “all the way” straight away. Like I wouldn't have Tim have kissed Brian unless I was also going to have them have sex within a very short time frame after that. If that makes sense? I'm not sure how I'd make that work though.
I think it'd definitely have to be Brian starting it all, rather than Tim. I think Tim would have been hesitant about telling Brian he likes him, simply because of how wrong it could go, and he catastrophizes about that until he’s totally convinced it would absolutely ruin his current friendship with Brian. And he can't have that, he *needs* Brian in his life, Brian feels like the only thing keeping him even moderately sane, so he’ll stick to just friendship instead of risking everything in the hopes of having something more.
So, yeah. I love that idea, a lot, it feels like it'd fit really well. The only problem with it is that I'm not sure how I'd make them not then immediately get together afterwards, which is annoying because otherwise I adore this idea.
in your universe, did Brian take Tim’s virginity? in my head he did, something about Brian being so sweet and gentle with Tim with Brian kissing Tim all over his body makes my brain go brrrrr
Oh definitely he did. I'm currently stuck between two places for when I want it to have happened, honestly.
Under the thingy a bit for length and a bit for the fact that it's talking about sex and alcohol a fair bit
Because on the one hand, I could make it when they get together properly in uni. Tim got overwhelmed at a party and Brian found him holing up somewhere absolutely not coping at all, probably just because he lost track of his friends and kinda freaked out a bit, and yeah they were both fairly drunk, but Tim needed comfort and Brian gave him that. And then once Tim had calmed down one thing led to another and it ended with them sleeping together at that party. Brian's definitely had sex before at least a couple times in this version of it, he's still awkward, especially since Tim's his best friend and has been for a couple years at this point, he doesn't want to ruin that.
Then both of them are like "well shit" the next morning after they stumbled home together and woke up hung over (Brian more than Tim, Tim's used to being drunk at that point and knows how to deal with it—though he does try not to drink, chain smokes instead most of the time—Brian not so much, Tim has to look after him a bit cos he's being a bit of a baby, but he doesn't mind that, counts it as returning the favour of Brian looking after him the night before) and they remember what happened. But they sit down and they talk, because Brian's a psychology student and Tim's had a decade of therapy (albeit not the best therapy, but still therapy), and they kinda figure things out and go, "you know what? I like you, you like me, how about we date? No one needs to know, that way there's absolutely no pressure from anyone, and we just see how this works out?"
Because I think that'd be absolutely adorable.
Or
I want it to have been something kinda stupid when they were still pretty new friends, as in, both probably still 16, maybe Brian had just turned 17, something like that. Once again, it was a drunk thing, at least on Tim's side of it. That's the one thing that's constant in my mind is Tim lost his virginity while drunk, because my version of him was pretty much at least slightly tipsy all the time throughout his time in highschool. He had a friend who was old enough to buy alcohol who had absolutely no moral issues buying alcohol for him even after realising Tim was becoming pretty reliant on it. Tim was struggling so bad with even just existing after getting out of the hospital to have at least a couple years of normal highschool before college, that he kinda needed the alcohol to help him cope/function.
It would probably have been a much worse decision if it was that second one, or like, Tim made the decision at a worse time mentally. Like, it wouldn't go badly for either of them, wouldn't fuck up their friendship or anything for more than a bit of awkwardness that went away after like a few weeks, but in this version of how it goes, it happens because Tim's in a pretty bad downward spiral that he doesn't know how to handle. Probably with Tim very drunk because something or other had happened, or had been happening for the past week that he absolutely didn't know how to handle. So he turned to two things he knows help, alcohol (drinking all day, probably skipping school for it so he wouldn't gey caught) and getting comfort from Brian. But this is a pretty damn bad spiral, so Brian's usual amount of comfort wasn't really enough.
He'd have found himself going back to Brian's place after school, spending the whole evening there slowly getting more and more drunk, with Brian at first joining him because whoo alcohol! Something they're not meant to have! But he doesn't drink as much as Tim and after a while starts gently attempting to be like "heyyyyy, maybe you should drink some water instead, you just seem to be getting more upset? Let's go make something for dinner and watch a movie or something, yeah?" And eventually that works, they eat and they watch a movie and Tim sobers up a little before they go to bed, but he's still struggling a lot (probably hallucinations is how I'm thinking, hallucinations and rapid switching, thought they wouldn't know that second part, probably just assumed it was part of the being drunk) and he ends up crawling into bed with Brian instead of taking the air mattress on the floor like he usually does when he stays over.
They end up kissing and don't get round to talking about anything before they're very awkwardly wiggling out of their clothes and figuring out how having sex actually works. Then the next morning rolls around and they're not as awkward as they expected to be, they don't regret it exactly, but they're also a bit like "😬 oh we did that... Well, uh... As long as we're still friends?" And it kinda ends there, they both definitely still have crushes on each other but for whatever reason neither of them act on that again. Until uni comes along, then you get that same party (the one Jay and Alex also "get together" at for the first time properly) and they sleep together again for the first time in like a year or so, and this time they actually talk about it and have that same whole "I like you, you like me, how about we date?" exchange as above.
...could technically have both if I wanted, just make Tim forget about the time in highschool so he thinks the time in uni is the first lol
#asks#mild nsft#marble hornets#brian thomas#tim wright#mh brim#mh sorry its locked#fic/series rated e on ao3#in case anyone would prefer not to read that
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finally settling once and for all... with the evidence laid out plainly.. which of these brother boys is more stinkys ,,,
#also please for the love of gourd do not take this seriously i am joking I do not hold any of these behaviors against my cats I know that#all cats are a little stinky and weird I have had cats all of my life I am not genuinely condemning my cats i am being silly please lol#(some of my goofy cat posts in the past will always get like.. one or two people taking an issue with something incredibly#mundane. like me saying a cat is being rude or somehting and someone being like 'um actually cats cant process the concept of#rudeness. he has no idea he did anything wrong!' ........ yes...... i am aware.. that my cat has the brain of a cat lol#ANYWAY.... polls!!! so excited to have polls.. I will try not to be annoyig but I just love asking random things to the general#public. in friend groups I am always the one asking people to taking surveys. quizzes. making surveys and handing them out. etc.#the rare times I can partially overcome my social anhedonia/inability to socially function properly/etc. is when I'm interviewing people or#socializing specifically in the context of like Information Gathering lol#I love running questionairres and stuff . even about the most mundane pointless topics. there's just soemthing really interesting#about like....... being able to ask people stuff and then look at and analyze the results.#Even though that's an incredibly simple average thing. idk.. my brain loves information even if it's pointless silly information.#I Just Think It's Neat. I have so so sos os oso many ideas but I wanted to make the first poll about my cats#of course because I'm also obsessed with them lol. I was thinking of taking some of the pictures of them in front of a blank#canvas and doing a poll of 'what are they painting?' or 'what should they paint?' but I decided to go with babey crimes#for now. inspired by various baby crimes committed just this morning. Fresh on my mind..#I wish they had a middle option though between '1 day' and '1 week'. I think a week is too long for a poll like this but also#one day is not long enough because I dont really have THAT many active followers. if it was just a day it would probably reach like 5 poepl#people. I want to at least be able to reblog it a few times maybe. lol#I think 3-4 days would be ideal. Its a new feature though. I'm sure they'll modify things as time goes on.#Still feeling sick and bad and weird and not being that productive at all generally but... I have just enough energy stores..#using up every ounce of my power to make a goofy poll... a worthy sacrifice....
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I can't read the aj book reviews on goodreads though because I feel like people collectively did not get that the gender thing was A) in service to her other themes not the entire point of the book B) not a girlboss everyone's a woman now thing either
#maybe the idea started like oh what if i just used she pronouns for everyone but the writing is more nuanced than that#it's the empire taking over different cultures it's not like universally a good thing#it's what many of the characters grew up with so it doesn't occur to them that they could be a different gender#it's not a universally bad thing either it's not like the book goes 'oh the empire is wrong not to have two specific genders'#it's just like. in the same way this empire enforces gender and restricts bodily autonomy through constant surveillance#your empire does the same to you. it's just like asking you to question things#but some characters have no problem with their given pronouns. it's all socially constructed that's the point#breq was probably the first time i was really envious of someone's gender though#there's no like. status significance to her pronouns in her culture. she doesn't wear different styles based on it#then you see her having to translate herself to other people's expectations when she's outside of the empire#and she's constantly botching it even after 20 years#never related to someone's experience with gender more#it's like i don't really do that. lol. but you're welcome to interpret me however. it is simply none of my business#i'll be whatever is most convenient when i'm trying to rent a place to stay. assigned woman at rental application#i never agreed to this system it's just a weird cultural quirk that makes my life slightly worse but otherwise isn't important to me
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I dunno why everyone says they hate grooming and hand stripping dogs. I find it so soothing. I would probably go for hours if Arthur didn't let me know he was done with it.
#I wanna say we probably go 30 minutes max usually? For maintenance grooming#When he goes to his breeder to get full groomed he's on the table for like 3 hours#I kinda think having a Poodle could be fun one day for the fun haircuts I could do#I'm not that brave with actually clipping BUT I would be if it wasn't a show dog lol#Like I do love clipping off Haley's feathers. Which I do now because she's an old lady who does not need that excessive hair#Haley gets really really floofy ... makes me wonder what her parents' coats were like. I'm thinking the Sheltie genes are probably why#My mom wants me to try shaving Leia down. Haha. We'll see about that. She is so so wiggly and hyper. Her#groomer has a special way with her#Leia's groomer is a hardcore flyball trainer/competitor so she is used to insane dogs lol#I think it's funny that she grooms all the floofy suburban pet dogs in the neighbourhood while she personally owns Mals and BorderWhippets#ANYWAY I think dog grooming would be a great career for me if I can get the chronic pain under control#I want to at least become an Expert ECS groomer over the next decade lol#Grooming could maybe be a side gig one day if I can get good enough and figure out how to get training#I'm legit considering the idea that the best job situation for me might end up being multiple 'side gigs'
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AH I REMEMBERED WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY EARLIER but it's kind of stupid, lmao.
So my partner is getting into brewing beer and I got them a Tilt, which is a Bluetooth hydrometer. It measures specific gravity and temperature, which are things you want to know so that you don't kill your yeast or whatever. Except the sensor's Bluetooth range is super short, and it basically runs via a phone app, and the temperature we're logging currently is the crawlspace, accessible via the staircase closet. So they were like, wait, what do we do about this, because I can't leave my phone in the closet, that's my alarm clock.
In a kind of ridiculous turn of life imitating art, I was like, hold up, I got just the thing right at my desk. Bam. Old phone. We just needed to scrounge up a charger because the battery is so dead that after charging just enough to power on it claimed it was at 53% (to be fair to it, there is a very real chance that it's correct, and it just holds no charge at this point so the capacity is just THAT low) and now it lives in the closet logging sensor data.
And I was like, you know...didn't I just solve a major story detail with a much larger version of this...yeah, no, this is all vaguely familiar somehow, power supply issues and all. Kind of cool that the concept works though. Kind of weird that it came up at all?
We are not gonna talk about the fact that I still have at least two more ancient-ass phones in a drawer where that came from because look, man, sometimes you just need a camera/mic/mini computer with Bluetooth and wifi that fits in a pocket, and people just get rid of these things, but not me. I actually could build a shitty security system out of them if I was reaaaally inclined. I mean. I'm not. But it's technically possible.
For real though, If I pick up any stupid maker projects I still high-key am thinking about slapping Bluetooth into a necomimi headset and running that through an Arduino and learning to code just enough to let me skip songs/change the volume on Spotify with my brain, because it's entirely doable, and I mean yeah I could do that on my phone remotely too, but that's not funny, now, is it. I'm just not sure it's $350+ of parts funny. Kind of a big investment just to prove the point that haha look I am the extremely ADHD type of lazy where I would rather solve a problem via the most convoluted and complicated Rube-Goldberg type ass machine way possible rather than just perform a single simple action.
YEAH I'VE BEEN THIS SCATTERED ALL DAY AND I REALLY SHOULD GO TO BED SHOULDN'T I. I started playing Satisfactory. Mistakes were made. I'm going to dream about conveyor belts again and I did it to myself...
#you know I used to mostly blog about witchcraft and paganism#and now I'm like. you know what I want to do? chain an EEG sensor to the Spotify API and skip songs with my brain.#it's kind of like magic when you put it like that. maybe things haven't actually changed that much after all#the headset idea actually came about bc I'd gotten so far into the writing zone that I literally just. tried to skip a song with my brain.#because I had so much reploid characters on my mind that it just sounded like a normal course of action I should be able to take#obviously it didn't work and cue me sitting there for a full 3 seconds going 'why didn't it. wait. why did I think it would?'#followed immediately after by 'YEAH BUT I PROBABLY COULD DO THAT ACTUALLY'#because you just Cannot write a character like Glitch without it rubbing off on you a little bit and WWGD kicked in real hard lmao#well obviously he'd [ridiculous chain of ideas ending in 'anyway I installed some shit and now I can control Spotify with my mind']#and I gotta say I do not like the idea of sticking a sensor on the *inside* of my skull. sounds very bad.#but it doesn't have to be on the inside to work soooo there's that!#I have a friend who for quite a long time had a rare earth magnet in one finger so he could find live wires by touch#he ended up removing it for work eventually but when I say I was jelly. man. but also kinda squeamish about it.#I do not like sharp things and I am Very funny about my fingers as an artist/writer/used to be musician.#but man that sounds cool. I want the magnet senses. I don't think I want them enough to have a magnet under my skin though#I think I wouldn't use them enough for that to be helpful actually lmao#anyway do I even need more senses? probably not. mine are already unfiltered and loud as shit.#'boy I wish I could sense magnetic fields' says idiot guy who can hear the mains hum even with no electronics currently turned on#like when the power goes out I can FEEL the fucking difference in the air and it's unnaturally quiet and kinda spooky#I do not think I need help on this front actually. I think I got it handled pretty okay lol
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I've listed my acrylics for sale! It's my first time ever mailing merch or anything like that and I'm sorry in advance for whatever I mess up. 😭
(also, there are several extra Rages with bad bases; trying to figure out the best way to list them at a discount)
(USA shipping only; sorry, everything else looked expensive and confusing)
#dance dance revolution#i have no idea what i'm doing#it goes without saying but yes these scuffed drawings are my designs#people asked me that when i did an interest check#i couldn't believe it#who else would draw these 3? lol#ok ミフ would but then they would look way cuter
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#a little bit of a happy rant... (can rants be happy? if not i don't know the word then lol)#a while ago when i was deep diving into autism research because i'm 98% sure i'm autistic#i told my mom this and i also told her i wanted to go see a psychiatrist to get diagnosed#bad idea cause my mom is the type of person who thinks ''everyone is a little autistic'' which is stupid but anyways she didn't believe me#she thinks putting labels on things is bad and we shouldn't do it#but this is not a fun label... this is an actual diagnosis!!#i digress. the point is that i stoped talking about it because i don't have the energy or desire to try to convince my mother#that i know what goes on inside my brain.#but my brother! My brother is a sweetheart#he seems like he doesn't give a shit about anything but every now and then he will drop the cutest most affirming comments#(he did that when i came out as trans too)#i'm sure my brother has adhd if not autism or possibly both so maybe he has looked it up before or at least understands it better#but like for christmas he wanted to get me a weighted blanket because i'm always talking about how i need preassure and weight on me#and also that i like rocking myself to sleep (i need one of those automatic rocking chairs for babies but like adult size)#anyways he aknowledges (let's pretend i can spell that word) what i said and my suspicions of autism#today the noise of a tiny bit of air escaping from a badly close bottle lid was annoying me#i wasn't in the room i may add#when i complained my mom was like ''damn! that hearing!'' or somthing like that#and my brother. very casually said ''it's the autism'' which made me so fucking happy that is the first time someone fucking believes me!#but then my mom went ''naaah there's no autism here'' (or somthing amongst those lines) which took my excitement aways#but anyways i love my brother and his casual support <3#angel talks#personal
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One better (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#Blood#I knew going into this and it was still so distressing :'0#Who needs plot twists when you can create such an intense sense of Dread#Probably doesn't help that I read this At Night In the Dark lol - actual shivers#Gods this was a hard scene to read - there have been several instances of my face hurting from furrowing my brow so hard haha#The way that ''Doctor'' is written is So skillful - I'm so impressed by everyone's prose and quirks and syntax!#Not to mention when he breaks character in a later scene to apologize for taking a bit to move the scene along haha <3 Play!!#It really does speak to just how much skill and effort is put into everything <3 It's so well done all the way around!!#Anyway to the actual scene at hand lol ow :') Drawing blood is always fun but I wish it wasn't his ;u;#Ugh the way he takes the surgeries is so well written - fear of course but a kind of stoic suffering as much as he's able to -#Until it comes to his eye#Ugh the /break/ of it all he goes from so eloquent - almost snarky and silly! Still trying to find an out make peace do /something/#It all goes completely out the window he's so /reduced/ and nothing hurts worse than that ughughugh#For all his intelligence and wit and prior successes and charm and just - everything that makes him /him/ to be dissolved into abject fear#It's so sad ;; And so well done <3#And he still holds enough of himself to know what he'd be losing wegh it's so sad!! He's so defined by his vision as most VUX are it's fjdsl#Zelnick is already gone by this point but I wanted to throw him in for extra sad flavour :')#Plus - I've mentioned his post-Op was one of the ones from the gallery that Actively kills me every time I look at it#Can you imagine my heartbreak to find out that he didn't have his Captain to comfort him after this in actuality? That he was fully alone?#''Are we home? Is it over?'' ''N...not yet'' - The Absolute Devastation of realizing that Never Was not really#Just tear my heart out why don't you ugh I'm fully bleeding out 💔#That last one is actually meant to be Max but it's open to interpretation :)#I think it's such a waste that his eye was just disposed of! Someone else could've used that (lol)#I do think there's something to the idea of seeing what used to be a part of your body elsewhere - like the Leftovers!#Even just keeping as a memento tho - a trophy - insult to injury but literally#Just points to no one being special and nothing being sacred I suppose
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#personal#i still have like a deep seated hatred for people who like girls and i have no idea why#i've been like this since 15 what's going on. like i can't get to the bottom of it?? where did this come from??#it's bisexuals it's lesbians; straight guys are like. idk not really 'off the hook' but i guess they're like 'well whatever'#cishet guys are like 'well what would i do with you anyway' and i relate to trans straight guys on the basis of being trans#but i just. idk. i just seethe#it goes away when i hang out with -lw people but when i'm alone and i see someone be like 'yeah haha i've been talking to a girl'#or someone 'simping' in the comments of a girl's selfie or whatever i'm like '!!¡!'#and like this has a root somewhere but i can't really find it? i think the closest is like jealousy ig. but idk??#it's not like i want lesbians to be attracted to me lol or that i need everyone to drop everything Look At Me >:[#disclaimer: this is something that i'm working on and i don't tell anyone i'm just putting it here to say it somewhere#it might be like a gender thing. i'm like kinda genderfluid in some way and#and i'm a trans person who considers itself to 'have been a girl and now live as not-that'#so maybe it's like. 'i've been called a pretty girl and now i've abandoned this for an uphill battle of chasing gay guys who fucking hate#trans people'#and by that i mean gay guys around here are just. woof#i am in fact not into transphobes dkdkksks#it's just. idk#if you're reading this and you like women i don't hate you btw jdnjs this is a me problem and you're fine lol i realize how fucked up it is
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